& all the things you thought before.

& is more than this:

the indent where if
fingers raw

brushed some

heart this one holds breath


& lingers after

a hope that this might

(re shaped) fit

casts of

well remembered shades


& knew too I knew

fleeting this would fade
in to gray
or this:

so on to love and

So many steps I've already taken in this direction...

If you had told me, years ago
That I would have taken this path
I would have laughed.


The thing I've most enjoyed in life is:

An open door. I've never been able to say
Yes. This is what I want. I'm ready to settle for:



...


So I've collected these moments and memories and skill sets.



Then

Not too long ago I finally said, Okay.

Here we go.
This is what I want to do.


Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to give up

Wide open plains for standard gauge track?


And yet, even if the possibilities aren't as endless...

You'll get farther, faster, this way.

The earth can only hold us if we hold ourselves there.

Midnight silhouettes the flowers in your hair

Caught me by surprise the autumn stare you wear


Hands in mine

Intentions clear

Your shoes weren't made to fly
Leave them here


The earth can only hold us

If we hold ourselves there.


Shadows paint the things you fold about yourself
All the ink and feathers you keep on the shelf


Long ago

You used to fly
Give these old wings a chance

One more try


The earth can only hold us
If we hold ourselves there.


You looked so long and quiet at the inch between our pair
If there's a cure for loneliness maybe you could find it there


Won't say what

You're looking for
But then you follow me
Off the floor


The earth can only hold us
If we hold ourselves there.

She is.

I don't think I've seen her buy anything ever (She
Says absence makes the heart go green)



She is, she is.


I can see right through her lies if she lies ever (She
Scratches her face but comes out clean)


She is, she is.


Unrehearsed, my friend

But I fell in love
With a bright
Summer day


Tenuous, my friend
But I fell in love

With the breeze

On my face

I tried to wake you (It was just to say goodbye)

I tried to wake you (It was just to say goodbye)

Thought that it was fair to let you know


You just turned away

Murmured through sleep
That in your dreams

In your dreams I never leave


There is nothing so arresting

As you settled in my outline


The nightlight reveals traces of my thumbs

Soft like the imprints of the ghosts

You keep hidden in your head

All bruises wear away in time

B3H 3R3

A box in the basement covered in dust.
The cardboard has seen better days.

Top sunk in from long neglect, one

Name written on the side - a child's scrawl.


We slide the flaps open, and laugh in delight. Inside:
Old friends, all these words. We pull them out like old

Stuffed toys, sliding fingers against soft letters, minding

Tears and smudges, smoothing down tattered edges.


Hold these close a while. Tomorrow, back to being friends.

I swear this is the last.

If I put you together and you break
Do you fault my assemblage?

If you lose your way and you falter
Is it my fault? Am I blameworthy?
I don't think so. You are your own
Person. Be strong. And yet I cannot


Ignore this history behind us, between

Us, of us, youandi we made eachother.


If I put you together and you break

Do you think I would come running

After you, some sort of white night

white banner white horse you're so
Stubborn. You. Are. Don't think

I don't know you at all.


You would think - you would think that

With all these years between us, of us
I would know what you want. I don't

Have the slightest idea what drives you.


And then you falter. If ever there was a moment
To have resolve, this is it. I cannot fix this.
You have to put yourself
Together again.

All at once you look across a crowded room.

i obscure help not

at all true and gentle

man but when
you draw so close

close i burn



you


shy: away from

this perchance at
fault divided or

all mine or yours
if ever



this


handsclasp won
another kiss

fullcontact

me and you
then: again



perhaps


tomorrow smile
smile and heat

heat and heart
your heart draws
close careful close


i burn

So many words would not.

Close my eyes make this mem'ry sweet
The blush and rose where we first meet
Such pretense should I e'er assume
To know how lovely Spring in bloom 


This moment passed, our hands share time
The space between us close aligned
To hearts in secrets speak surprise
And match the pigment in our eyes 


Here Spring sweethearts by riverside
Our hands left frozen in bright light
Her beauty, laughter set in time
These features pink and lips on mine

Autumn shades to spare.

She watches wistful passings where
a gentleman may long demur


the long expanse of shoulder, fair
and tempting, sit adjacent me;


her attitude that laissez faire

as if by furtive kiss conferred


surreptitious and solitaire
she waits in autumn shades and he


with winter mail and spring despair
evoked by summer long deferred


rides roughshod through that head of hair

with aims of autumn shades to spare.

Where does one even begin?

She has all the
subtle allure

one commonly
attributes to

the bourgeois;


beautiful and

when she smiles
my heart

stops.