Why she smiles

If I could only write
a thousand sighs
and paper her walls with
the sorry I's

still I would not forget
the way that she left
as an accessory to
a memory

cross the river line
where hearts had aligned
I always love nearly
or not at all.

Still I'd apologize
if my hands and my eyes
were a little too quick
to keep her still.

back in town again

You sent all your postcards and words I had waited too long to never hear and I am so awestruck I didn't think you'd have the nerve to come back here but here we are and across a table

a pitcher a picture of two people half smiling half at each other and half at the strange situations which two people find themselves in and a truth is I can't say I missed you but the truth is I missed you and I miss you still in evenings when I sit alone on the porch with a bottled up every and you would say

this is a moment, we can't be together forever and ever but for this one moment please be with me here with me keep me from being too much of myself, please tell me the stories of people that you think I am

and in this moment, since I have determined that I spend too much of me dreaming for somewho that I'll never find in the world I am living in, shouldn't I try someone new for a change and if this one someone is not quite so new

( if in fact I've been with and will be again )

well that's not a problem 'cause even if you're not a high-crowned hat wearer, a worn down dancer with aches in your wrists and an autumn-shade sweater that doesn't mean I might not fall for you

once more fall for you seven days into the falling you'll disappear and I won't miss you now I swear on the heat that you leave in my bed I swear on the heart that ignores what my head says that I should be leaving

oh not while you're smiling at me.

gavenotice

I am drifting ---

Drifting is what she said

The lies that we love are repeating

Day in and out and I am drifting

I am leaving ---

Leaving for a little time

So I can be another life

Another for a new pair of eyes

Someday I'll be back again

Maybe you will still remember

But if you are washed away

And nothing of me remains

When I come home again

I would forgive you.

to give a veryone

to give a veryone one chance
twoperhaps but oneonly usually
seems best to me but he is not

tooever he finds reasons to say
yes, let's again andlaugh
so staving off too regrets

we have are all defences but these
are notmuch the best: the door left open
and the wafting of possibles

For a fierce heart.

Ah you. Summer always suited you so
Much best. Last year when you were Lost,
I found you out on the porch, smiles at me
And asking when we might?

The answer simmers.

When Autumn became you came bepanicked
Less romantic more sofrantic wondering
Who could make a place for you in theirs?

I said only you.

Lately one more said the best for me:
You can't fix anyone. You can only give them

Love (

this we've been waiting for ) .

last time last summer

I think the truthmostful is sunset
and the girl my hands
draped
one across her and one
stirring the bananas foster

The pleasure of you
r company makes me
mories sweet and we
ll I just wanted to say '
hello and thank you
' for yes
terday

This is such a bold thing ending
but beginning such a such thing
is always all ways always re-
re-membering what a heart

is or ever could

moments only

And is it so hard to remember the last moment we met?
Was it really in June? Was it really so long ago?
That moment you said staying in touch is so important?
If love is life and life is only moments what is love? )

i was all fear id lost my chance
so when your chance appeared again
i stepped in and out and in and
this is just a paean to brokens

those who say things unsure
and sad a little when the love
they thought they had
is moments only

( who is to say I am not broken too?

Iterations on 47th Ave.

I came by to pick up my things
and you held me in your eyes and arms
so I would never leave

I after spent days in angry fog
with heart set on hating
because this will never last

but the only way it ends is I'm not madly
no, never madly not quite madly in love
with you

this is never easy or ever ending
my head is set on ending you and me
but my heart is in the way

and you say what right have I to end a pair
when neither belongs to either and I still love
( this is to say that when

Joyeux Anniversaire

Insouciant alors et insouciant maintenant
Je passe mes journées ne vous demandant comment
Votre anniversaire s'est passé; malheureusement
Je l'ai manqué et maintenant j'ai honte

Oublier deux fois dans une seule année
Rien que je puisse dit, rien que je puisse fait
Pût réparer cet affront terrible
De ton pardon, je suis inadmissible

Je veux vous présenter des excuses
Et les habiller de douces brises
Mais je me suis deja excusé avant
Et maintenant j'oublier encore une fois

Et donc, bénis soit votre coeur, si bon, si vrai
Avec toutes les réparations que je vous devais
J'espère que vous pourrez me pardonne
Et que nous pourrons tous en rit encore

Car la vie n'est pas un calendrier
Et même que j'oublie, je même tu rappelais

lunchtime poetry

Breathlessbreathless gomode go!
How many things can one man know
Or have the time to do in a day?
One more to-do which can't be late:

These numbers in those numbers out
( I'm losing some, I have no doubt )
And in the midst the simple chime
Of txt which brings you back to mind.

And this is just a way to say
I'm not ignoring you today;
Just a busy, just a stressed,
Without the time to be what's best:

What's best, I think is just to laugh
And lean into my arms again
For life is not a paragraph
And days should be much better spent.

Lunchtime poetry. It must

be done by lunchtime, and

so sometimes the quick

craft shows through - the

exposed mortar, the spots

the run together or fall

apart...

... lyrically speaking, we

must all be done by

lunchtime.

friends so ( so much so )

Friends so ( so much so ) friends
will jest with jealous intent whisper
I thought you dated so much so prettier.

Which is just so and so horrible and augurs
even though I know it's just jealousy, it's just
jealousy will settle down between you only
and me only and there we stay.

Well what should I now; my best intents
would just become the indents in you
the places and friends and your sad, sad smile.

I could

You know, I could let this all go.
Let all this go,
this you and me.

But every time I am frustrated, or feel like leaving, I remember:
everyone has ups
and
downs
and
some people have seasons of one or the either.

So I wear warm clothing and
wait for a season
like it used to be.

this also

Hush quiet but this strikes me strangely.

For a first chance only prose and then you
are never poetry ( at least not everyday
idle for a matter left ready so to move

on ) I feel a flight coming; I am too light hearted
for two standing our ground; well I am expectant

but too much too soon much too expectant?

I have forgot how hearts become heavier things.

anyone who better might

A night with an anyone who
better might this morning
smile more and swiftly

covers draped across shoulders
and soft across the floor

pants and all things set back
in the ways what I left
when I opened for anyone

what's lost is each moment
when kisses still and closer
kiss an everywhere of an anyone

anyone who better might this

where we begin

There once was a girl from Vantucky
Whom people found pleasant and plucky
For example this dude
Has admired her mood
And her bent, both so happy-go-lucky

This dude ( who is not very dudelike
Having given it up for subduedlike )
Is asking her climbing
And after that wineing
If that is an evening that you'd like

We're certain to have a good time there
Although I'm not yet much a climber
I may scramble and gaffe
Give you reason to laugh
Over half a carafe in a diner

It has been six years and nights.

All as onse that pinstript gent appeart
Wit finkerwagt ant grinnink sharet
Sayt 'Senze ant Senzibilitéa
I heft taem beth ~ haft faith in me'

This is why you force everything else to fit you in.

Always I sailed heartset for tomorrow
Until you still the waves beneath your hand
I saw horizons never come so close
As one day's sunset swept across the land

So I won't mind horizons come and go
Come and go so we can't be forever

If I lose with you and me an evening
And find our smiles always there remain
I won't have to lose another season
In worries this might not last out the day

So I won't fret the seasons ebb and flow
Ebb and flow so we can't be forever

Did I even one day this year entwine
In anything an evening might reveal
The moment I weigh you and me and time
To set time down and leave a heart unsealed

So I won't mind horizons come and go
Come and go so we can't be forever

And I won't fret the seasons ebb and flow
Ebb and flow so we can't be forever

So what if all the rivers overflow
Sweep us off and we can't be together

Horizons seasons rivers I don't know
Moments shared with you will be forever

A bedtime story.

I even worry when I'm lost in dreams
The checkered tile scene
Her skin a marble sheen
Held close to him with hands autumn hued
Swearing softly You'll make it through

I wake to chills and breathing next to me
And feel my fears reprieved
So long as you're with me
You're safe but it's becoming so clear
That I've become your full-length mirror


When we first met you were the lowest low
That you had ever known
Wishing you weren't alone
Soon enough we came all entwined
Hearts and sadness so aligned

Caught between new love and old heartache
A wish you could remake
The last mistake you made
Shackled brokenwings couldn't fly
Leave you crying but you'll get by


And you know I would spend the longest while
On crazy plans so I could see you smile
To have your heartbeatfast or beat at all
To have you near as mine falters and falls


The evening you say you might soon be gone
Tired of being strong
Can't let this bleak drag on
I beg you wait with me just one night
Stay with me, don't fade to white

And I won't promise that you'll be okay
But spend just one more day
Before you go away
Come to bed unwrinkle your brow
Slow your breath and you're fine for now


And as your eyes close and your worries flag
I see I might be fucked up just as bad
But so long as you're sleeping next to me
I don't have leave to let my worries free


She starts awake to find that he is gone
The bathroom light is on
And trying to be calm
She holds him close with hands autumn hued
Swearing softly You'll make it through

I awake to find a dream unplayed
But in the dark afraid
Of mistakes I've yet made
I take you softly into my arms
Neither so safe, but each other warm

Heartinthemiddlings.

Loves I am loves a touch more erryday
Passion which fashionbly fades into grey
Is nothing like mine or indeed what I'd trust

I'd rather be lost in a lovetime with us
Than spend out a rather with beauty or wealth
Be so perfect featurd and perfectly healthd

All of these dreamings sit so poor compard
With the size of your eyes when you notice me there

Mystery mystery.

Some scoundrel snuck inside the wash
While I was washing mine
Said scumbag snatched up half my socks
Though just the matching kind

So now I have but one of each
One blue, one brown-gray hatched,
I've stacks of black and heaps of tweed
And nary one will match

What sneak would snaffle up such swag?
What criminal would walk
With time enough to sort the bag
But leave with single socks

Perhaps this looter lost a leg
And thus the one-sock spree?
(Part two: I checked beneath the bed -
The thief, it seems, was me)

Social service seminar

I know my heart and this somehow
Is one among the world
All-in, deciding moments which
Might set an end unfurled

But such the hopes we saw today ---
How could we choose just one to save?

...and you see it only once, or never.

The moments I am most awake
Are those when sleep begins to slow
As I forgo oneiroi strains
To find the wisp of you remains.

The wish of you defies my wit
To find the words that trace this heart
For all fall short; I only burn
Through all the letters ever learned.

I could not find the name for love
Without a chance this love to wake:
Those lips I take and find my lines
In dreams still swimming through your eyes.

I wish I'd said.

What are words but nonsense? The only things I know
Are seldom shades of anything that I could not forego.
So here is my confession: I have so few regrets
But love is only lovely as a lover can forget.

And there are moments I can't forget.

If you're lost, I'll find you. I owe you that at least.
And if you don't know where you are, I'll bring you back with me.
I can't bring you forever. You have to be okay
Without me love you have to be; we can't play this halfway.

Two hearts in half, and one must give way.

To months too many.

The staircase; so skirt chase,
I pass by words I'd said before:
The allure, and demure,
She takes my hands and asks no more.

If I only might be real
In the pattern in her wheel,
Let her spin me sweet again,
So I surface now and then ---

The dreams seep; so softly,
I watch for what she sees in me:
The names slip, and heart skip,
She sets her faith where others flee.

If my outline might be matched
In the shape her hopes had patched,
Let me settle in her cares
So I smooth out all of theirs.

Or if a mended heart could find
In love again, let it be mine.

Three minutes each morning.

Three minutes each morning I take 14
the length of which looks down snow-capped Mt. Hood -
these far away landmarks still draw me in
and promise sweet prospects which I've never seen.

In evenings my mirrors are filled with missed chances;
it's too soon, I tell myself, too early, too cold
for picnics: summer's for hikes, for vistas with friends,
late evenings, and wine, and long summer dances.

Too early then in a year for adventures.
The mountain must know; it sees all joint ventures.

Anne stumbled 'till were bare.

The heat in the space where you lay on the bed

Still scarlets my hands as I slowly set square

The uncharted place where before I held breath
And made my demands of the spark in your air.

So I bought you a telescope.

We had been arguing of late about the

very meanness of man, how each thing

we want or ever do is ever never much


everything about us limited so small and in -
significant there lying under forever, you

concluded we lacked import and perspective...


So I bought you a telescope, and the first clear

night we bundled and set up on school field; there

shaded from city lights by the gym, we found:


Mars at first, and then Jupiter, and after not much
searching (your fancy phone making us experts)
we
resolved Saturn, rings and all and I explained:


how not long ago we reached up into the stars and

brushed them; though we might be small, our reach
is farther than one heart might know.

Lately she has wondered how little she might need.

He had recognized in her too wide eyes that he must have made a mistake

But felt self-assured and also secure for he'd meant no offense or ache
If she was aghast, well he'd only asked why she had not RSVP'd
If there was some breach of conduct or speech it was hers (which she'd surely concede)


And how rude to blanche where an olive branch was offered when nothing was due

The unease that came from weeks without blame wrapped 'gainst him and started to stew

"Excuse me," she said when heartbeats had spread between them enough to explode

"Excuse me," she said, "Let's discuss instead the Apology that I'm owed."


Well this unforeseen request was obscene and his sense of propriety
Fell quickly apart; his only retort was of garden variety

"So please sit," she said (he did, seeing red), "And now let us at length detail

The kinds of regrets which writ might express the remorse which yours should entail.


"You should file in threes: a copy for me and for you with one copy sent

To be file'd post haste and lost in the great Apologie Departmént
And you should include - please don't think I'm rude - character references stating
Your words are sincere as they might appear on first glance, with annotating.


"And then above all, let me now install that your regrets should be sincere
Now though I'd accept apologies decked in one of these three, let's be clear:

If you should do two, then I'd forgive you and our friendship would be renew'd
But should you essay all three straightaway I would fall quite in love with you."

And a smile.

with you I could go in peace
in an evening on the porch
early spring late snowmelt

my mind is set to wonder:



you wandered in my life

last of a longest line of
Love; and mine could

heart stretch and a smile


there amazing in your arms

if as my eyes closed your

hands were the last seen

with You i could go in peace.

I owe I wait for all the last.

Somewhere in an inch betwixt
this way from feeling small

memories shed wine sex

(and laughter) as each and

every sneeze breaks me


I owe I wait for all the last:

sneeze riff kiss last time I see

you beneath your rain-colored
skies, and I remember as
it rains in dreams tonight


Time to time these eyes reflect

another I, I and you sing and strum

my choice and yours picked me to pick

out counterpoint in dirty bars at night

on trunks of cars set under stars


Eyes all

Headlights

On you


The last: sneeze riff kiss last

time a heart fills inches pairs

alone as two ever were

remembering each moment
each the last


I owe I wait for all the last.

She brings me heart chocolate.

Winter stretched thin and slip past sunshinesin
Save rare days when I steal sweet lunch from

She who days past softly graced me thro
Though eyes contrast deftly years ago


English toffee mocha and peppermint

There twixt chalk we parcel hearts again

Shiver & sin when we're snowed in.

holiday past and what was said

hopes what she read will not outlast

the news forecast more overcast

sleek white outside slips dim and vast


and her colors once a contrast
all faded fast as i loved her
i would demur but she prefers

we stay the way before we were


i wish endings were limitless

less bitterness & everything

not both knowing there is no ring
our love was just a moment's thing